and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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