i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
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