I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
