scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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