i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
