i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Gay?
German.
Pity.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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