That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
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