It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize