great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Randomize
