All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Randomize
