i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize