I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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