well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
