guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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