I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
