I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
