thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
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