**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
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