Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
