U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
