So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
