I love black thongs
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Randomize
