Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize
