Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize