well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
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