I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
