so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
