I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
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