Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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