I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
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