the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
