week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
