I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
