there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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