i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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