i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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