6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Couch. On fire.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize