Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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