Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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