help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
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