I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
