so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
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