I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
