she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Randomize
