I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
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