well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize