Where are you?
In a non slutty way
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
