Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize