I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
