glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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