my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
