dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
