idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Randomize
