Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
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