The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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