Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
wrigley field is MILF paradise
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Randomize
