Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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