I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Also, beer. Big fan.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
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