Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
