She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
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