I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
You are a genius and a whore.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
