i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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