a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Randomize
