what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
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